Crap Towns / Oxfordshire / Wallingford
Wallingford
1/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 1. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Too nice for its own good.
So pretty they film telly murders here. The young people still say there's nothing to do.
Wallingford's so pretty they film Midsomer Murders here. Castle ruins, the Thames, a little heritage railway called the Bunk and BunkFest every year. It's clean, safe and irritatingly well behaved. The water mains keep bursting and the young people say there's nothing to do. They're right.
Well, there's the pub. Over twice the typical town's pubs per head, and 3 banks, which these days is showing off. The river beach only scraped Sufficient for bathing water, and over a fifth of premises can't get gigabit broadband. Not a single murder, though. They save those for the telly.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Wallingford's 91 for broadband means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Broadband91/10020.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.2% across the South Oxfordshire council area
- Air pollution43/1007.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour28/1007.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson20/1004.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene17/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 58 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping13/1005.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Oxfordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions10/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires10/1002.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain6/100111 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Abingdon-on-Thames | 15 |
| 5 | Didcot | 13 |
| 6 | Bicester | 12 |
| 7 | Henley-on-Thames | 7 |
| 8 | Carterton | 5 |
| 9 | Wantage | 5 |
| 10 | Thame | 5 |
| 11 | Kidlington | 2 |
| – | Wallingford | 1 |
Wallingford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 50.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 33% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 426 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 504 per 10,000 people, 720x the typical town's 0.7
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2024
- Sufficient Wallingford Beach, River Thames's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 9 pubs, 6 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 3 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 11.8 per 100,000 people, 3.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.4 per 10,000 people, 1.5x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.45am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,472 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Oxfordshire council
- £2,598 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £206 more than the English average
- 20% of Oxfordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 25% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Wallingford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.