Crap Towns / Norfolk / Thetford
Thetford
49/100Crap Score
502nd crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Norfolk. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Thetford. Nice forest, shame about town.
A great big forest on the doorstep, and you need a car to get to it.
Thetford's got a massive forest, Castle Hill and a museum because Dad's Army was filmed round here. The town centre looks tired, and the vape shops come in at four times the typical town's rate per head. You can't walk or bike to the forest without risking your neck, so people drive there to go for a walk.
Not that the forest's safe from the town. Grass, woods and crops get set alight far more often than in the typical town, in a place surrounded by trees. Some twat's having a proper go at burning the lot down.
2 buses leave town after 7pm on a Wednesday, and the last one's gone at 7.50pm. Gigabit broadband reaches about two thirds of the place, and Barclays, Halifax and Lloyds have all shut a branch. Don't panic.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Thetford's 98 for broadband means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Broadband98/10032.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 32.7% across the Breckland council area
- Criminal damage and arson83/10010.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires83/10015.0 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene79/1004.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 144 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour56/10016.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution49/1006.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions45/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain22/100118 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping17/1005.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Breckland council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills7/1002.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Great Yarmouth | 100 |
| 2 | Norwich | 84 |
| 3 | King's Lynn | 80 |
| 4 | Gorleston-on-Sea | 65 |
| 5 | Thetford | 49 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Dereham | 35 |
| 7 | Downham Market | 33 |
| 8 | Bradwell | 33 |
| 9 | Wymondham | 18 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Thetford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 85.6 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 12% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 28 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 11.0 per 10,000 people, 3.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 5 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 25 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 3 vape shops, 7 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 12.5% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (2 of 16) Worse: 3.1x the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 11.8 per 100,000 people, 3.5x the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.7 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical English town's 0.7
- 4 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.50pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 0.5%
- 15.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space About the same: About the same as the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,554 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Breckland council
- £2,444 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £52 more than the English average
- 8% of Norfolk County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Thetford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.