Crap Towns / Norfolk / Downham Market
Downham Market
33/100Crap Score
659th crappest of 984 towns, and 7th in Norfolk. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Vapes and Greggs.
Gingerbread Town turns out to mean brown stone. The high street turns out to mean vapes.
Downham Market calls itself Gingerbread Town because of the brown stone. It's stone, you can't eat it, move on. The high street is vape shops, charity shops and Greggs, and somehow 6 banks, more than six times the typical town's share. Now they want houses on the Willows nature reserve, and the doctors are already full.
The storm overflows go off for more than three times the typical town's hours. The buses leave 8 times after 7pm, the last at 7.36pm, and on a Sunday not at all. So you can get a mortgage in Downham, you just can't get home. Gingerbread, my arse.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Downham Market's 94 for broadband means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Broadband94/10016.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 34.7% across the King's Lynn and West Norfolk council area
- Sewage spills82/100935 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping61/10011.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, King's Lynn and West Norfolk council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson44/1006.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene39/1001.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 61 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution34/1005.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour30/10012.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires16/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain14/100115 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions12/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 3 | King's Lynn | 80 |
| 4 | Gorleston-on-Sea | 65 |
| 5 | Thetford | 49 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Dereham | 35 |
| 7 | Downham Market | 33 |
| 8 | Bradwell | 33 |
| 9 | Wymondham | 18 |
| 10 | North Walsham | 17 |
| 11 | Watton | 10 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Downham Market by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 49.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 35% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.5 per 10,000 people, 5x the typical town's 0.7
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 12 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 vape shops, 6 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 8.8 per 100,000 people, 2.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.6 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.36pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- Under 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Far lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 74% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,511 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
King's Lynn and West Norfolk council
- £2,430 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £38 more than the English average
- 8% of Norfolk County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Downham Market against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.