Crap Towns / North Lanarkshire / Stepps
Stepps
11/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 11. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Stepps. Get the train.
A quiet commuter village on Glasgow's doorstep, as long as you don't need a bus after 7pm.
Stepps is the nice bit just past the edge of Glasgow, and it knows it. Crime's less than half the typical Scottish town's, and the roads barely see a serious crash. Somebody's been at it with a spray can, mind. The catch is getting home. Buses leave its stops 8 times after 7pm on a Wednesday, and 29 times all Sunday, and with rain on 180 days a year, that's a long wet walk.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Stepps's 98 for rain means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Rain98/100180 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene58/1007.7% told to improve, of the 26 food businesses inspected
- Broadband53/1009.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.6% across the North Lanarkshire council area
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Air pollution30/1008.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills20/10042.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Anti-social behaviour15/1004.3 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires13/1007.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson5/1003.3 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions4/1000.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Motherwell | 90 |
| 2 | Coatbridge | 85 |
| 3 | Airdrie | 83 |
| 4 | Wishaw | 75 |
| 5 | Bellshill | 73 |
| 6 | Kilsyth | 61 |
| 7 | Viewpark | 53 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.8 | Cumbernauld | 34 |
| – | Stepps | 11 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Stepps by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 23.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 57% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 6 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.9 per 10,000 people, 41% higher than the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.3 per 10,000 people, 19% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.35pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 6.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 57% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,305 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 15% lower than the typical town's 1,532
North Lanarkshire council
- £1,555 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £98 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of North Lanarkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 119 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld About the same: 34.9 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 87.9% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Stepps against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.