Crap Towns / North Lanarkshire / Coatbridge
Coatbridge
85/100Crap Score
Known as the Iron Burgh.
144th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in North Lanarkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Coatbridge. Not West Airdrie.
The iron furnaces used to light up the sky over Coatbridge. These days it's the wheelie bins.
Coatbridge was the Iron Burgh, with blast furnaces glowing all night. The furnaces went cold, the town got a museum about them, and a leisure centre called the Time Capsule, which is about right. Main Street has three times the typical town's bookies per head and not a lot else.
Fire raising is still the local trade. Bins and rubbish get torched at more than three times the typical Scottish town's rate, and anti-social behaviour runs at 1.6 times the typical Scottish town's. It's grey and wet as well.
Being called West Airdrie is the one that gets them. Coatbridge has words for Airdrie too, none you'd put on a sign. Albion Rovers play at Cliftonhill in front of a crowd you could fit on a bus, and good luck getting one home: the last goes at 10.47pm.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Coatbridge's 92 for rain means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Rain92/100170 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour86/10012.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires85/10039.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions79/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene73/1007.4% told to improve, of the 297 food businesses inspected
- Criminal damage and arson67/1008.3 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Air pollution46/10010.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband40/1007.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.6% across the North Lanarkshire council area
- Sewage spills37/100142 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Motherwell | 90 |
| 2 | Coatbridge | 85 |
| 3 | Airdrie | 83 |
| 4 | Wishaw | 75 |
| 5 | Bellshill | 73 |
| 6 | Kilsyth | 61 |
| 7 | Viewpark | 53 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.8 | Cumbernauld | 34 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Coatbridge by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 73.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 34% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 54 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 12.8 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 24 pubs, 37 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 9 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 6 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 11.3% of takeaways inspected told to improve (6 of 53) Worse: 24% higher than the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.47pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 32% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,301 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 15% lower than the typical town's 1,532
North Lanarkshire council
- £1,555 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £98 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of North Lanarkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 119 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld About the same: 34.9 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 87.9% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Coatbridge against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.