Crap Towns / North Lanarkshire / Wishaw
Wishaw
75/100Crap Score
Locals call it Wishy.
250th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in North Lanarkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Wishaw. Pishy Wishy, to its friends.
Empty units on the Main Street and anti-social behaviour at nearly twice the typical Scottish town's rate.
Wishaw's Main Street is empty units and a regeneration everybody moaned about the whole time it was going on. It's got 3 Greggs and 3 pubs, which tells you where the town's head is at. Anti-social behaviour runs at 1.9 times the typical Scottish town's rate, and standing about being a nuisance in the Wishaw drizzle takes a special kind of arsehole.
Deliberate fires are nearly double the typical Scottish town's as well, mostly bins, and the storm overflows spill for more than two and a half times the typical town's hours.
Locals call it Wishy. Everybody else calls it Pishy Wishy.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Wishaw's 96 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour96/10015.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Rain94/100173 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires87/10042.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson76/1009.2 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Sewage spills75/100708 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Serious road collisions38/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband36/1006.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.6% across the North Lanarkshire council area
- Food hygiene36/1004.1% told to improve, of the 220 food businesses inspected
- Air pollution18/1006.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Motherwell | 90 |
| 2 | Coatbridge | 85 |
| 3 | Airdrie | 83 |
| 4 | Wishaw | 75 |
| 5 | Bellshill | 73 |
| 6 | Kilsyth | 61 |
| 7 | Viewpark | 53 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.8 | Cumbernauld | 34 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Wishaw by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 70.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 29% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 38 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 12.6 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 4 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 4.6% of takeaways inspected told to improve (2 of 44) Better: 49% lower than the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 6.6 per 100,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.35am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 11.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 26% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,284 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 16% lower than the typical town's 1,532
North Lanarkshire council
- £1,555 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £98 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of North Lanarkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 119 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld About the same: 34.9 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 87.9% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Wishaw against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.