Crap Towns / Oxfordshire / Sonning Common
Sonning Common
0/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 0. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The ducks have a palace.
Even the duck house is called Duckingham Palace. Bloody typical.
Sonning Common is about as safe, clean and tidy as it gets. No yobs, no vandals, nobody sets fire to anything, nobody crashes. So the locals fight about where the zebra crossing goes, who's parked badly outside the shops and the lorries on Widmore Lane. The duck house on the pond is called Duckingham Palace. That's the place.
The council recycles over 61% of everything, every premises can get superfast broadband, and there are 4 pubs, more per head than the typical town. Insufferable. The one thing they haven't got is a swimming pool, and you can bet there's a committee.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Sonning Common's 80 for broadband means it's crapper than 80% of towns.
- Broadband80/10012.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.2% across the South Oxfordshire council area
- Rain44/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene40/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 13 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution34/1006.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping13/1005.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Oxfordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills8/1004.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions4/1000.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires3/1000.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour1/1003.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson0/1002.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Abingdon-on-Thames | 15 |
| 5 | Didcot | 13 |
| 6 | Bicester | 12 |
| 7 | Henley-on-Thames | 7 |
| 8 | Carterton | 5 |
| 9 | Wantage | 5 |
| 10 | Thame | 5 |
| 11 | Kidlington | 2 |
| – | Sonning Common | 0 |
Sonning Common by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 31.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 58% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 130 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 247 per 10,000 people, 72.6x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 2 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 19% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.51pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 6% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,569 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
South Oxfordshire council
- £2,598 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £206 more than the English average
- 20% of Oxfordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 25% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Sonning Common against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.