Crap Towns / Nottinghamshire / Selston
Selston
38/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 38. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Their road menders dug the wrong roads
Selston is a decent village. The council spends its money in Kirkby and Sutton.
Selston dug coal, made iron and knitted stockings. Its road menders once got prosecuted for digging up the neighbours' roads, which is still the most excitement the place has had. Now it's a decent village with safe roads, and locals reckon Ashfield spends every penny in Kirkby and Sutton.
What does come Selston's way is the overflow. The storm overflows round here spill at 9.4 times the typical town's rate, and the local firebugs have been setting fire to the fields, with deliberate fires nearly twice the typical town's and climbing. No swimming pool, not enough pitches, and they want houses on the green belt.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Selston's 97 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Sewage spills97/1002,577 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution75/1009.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires73/10010.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene57/1004.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 25 food businesses with a rating
- Rain57/100132 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping37/1008.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Ashfield council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson28/1005.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour23/10010.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband15/1003.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.0% across the Ashfield council area
- Serious road collisions13/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 12 | Forest Town | 55 |
| 13 | Mansfield Woodhouse | 55 |
| 14 | Balderton | 54 |
| 15 | New Ollerton and Ollerton | 54 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Selston | 38 |
| 16 | Beeston | 35 |
| 17 | West Bridgford | 33 |
| 18 | Arnold | 25 |
| 19 | Carlton | 25 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Selston by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 58.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 53% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 2 hairdressers on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) About the same: 1.6 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.03pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 39.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,483 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Ashfield council
- £2,609 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £217 more than the English average
- 19% of Nottinghamshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Selston against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.