Crap Towns / Lancashire / Penwortham

Welcome to

Penwortham

Penidorm. No beach. A few bars.
Twinned with Benidorm, without the sea

34/100Crap Score

645th crappest of 984 towns, and 33rd in Lancashire. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

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The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

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Penidorm? Behave.

Locals call it Penidorm because of the bars. There's no beach. It rains like Lancashire.

Locals call it Penidorm because Liverpool Road's got a few bars. There is no beach. There's the Ribble, and the rain turns up on 161 days a year. The local legend is a fairy funeral on Castle Hill, which is about as lively as it gets once the bars shut.

Crime's low and the kitchens are clean, so it's fine really. The storm drains chuck out sewage for three times as long as the typical town's, and there's one public toilet for all those bars. Drivers rat-run the side streets to dodge the queue into Preston. Just not Benidorm. Not even close.

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Penwortham's 84 for rain means it's crapper than 84% of towns.

  • Rain84/100161 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
  • Sewage spills78/100810 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
  • Serious road collisions75/1003.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Anti-social behaviour56/10016.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Deliberate fires32/1004.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Broadband31/1002.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.6% across the South Ribble council area
  • Air pollution31/1007.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Criminal damage and arson14/1004.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Food hygiene11/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 75 food businesses with a rating
  • Fly-tipping5/1004.0 incidents per 1,000 people a year, South Ribble council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
Your patch: LancashireTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
26Heysham361st63
27Barnoldswick363rd63
28Poulton-le-Fylde386th61
29Ormskirk483rd51
30Thornton509th48
In danger of becoming nice from here down.31Lytham St Anne's602nd39
32Euxton638th35
33Penwortham645th34
34Longton741st25

Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.

Penwortham by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

South Ribble council

Have a crap-off

Penwortham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

PenworthamCrap Score 34
v
PrestonCrap Score 98

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.