Crap Towns / Gwent / Oakdale
Oakdale
30/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 30. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Oakdale? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Oakdale. Too bloody tidy.
Built as a model village for the miners. Still annoyingly tidy.
Oakdale was built as a model village for a colliery, with gardens and curved streets, and the pit's now a business park. Its old Workmen's Institute got taken to the museum at St Fagans brick by brick, so its best building is somewhere else. Crime's low. The rows are about new houses.
You get rain on 163 days a year, there's no park on the map, there's 1 pub, and on a Sunday there's no bus at all. Model village. Model of what, they never said.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Oakdale's 87 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 87% of towns.
- Sewage spills87/1001,300 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain86/100163 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping67/10014.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Caerphilly council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband57/1008.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.3% across the Caerphilly council area
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Food hygiene29/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 31 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution28/1007.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson17/1004.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Anti-social behaviour12/1008.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions7/1000.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Blackwood | 92 |
| 7 | Caerphilly | 88 |
| 8 | Pontypool | 86 |
| 9 | Ystrad Mynach | 85 |
| 10 | Cwmbrân | 75 |
| 11 | Chepstow | 59 |
| 12 | Abergavenny | 57 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Monmouth | 31 |
| – | Oakdale | 30 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Oakdale by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 43.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 43% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 11 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 17.9 per 10,000 people, 5.3x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.21pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.4% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 20% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 24.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,438 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 6% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Caerphilly council
Have a crap-off
Oakdale against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.