Crap Towns / North Lanarkshire / Moodiesburn
Moodiesburn
10/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 10. Higher scores are crapper.
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Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Moodiesburn. Quiet, and damp.
An old pit village turned Glasgow commuter stop, with hardly any crime and a lot of rain.
Moodiesburn is where people who work in Glasgow go to sleep. Hardly anything gets smashed, hardly anything gets nicked, and none of its food businesses was told to improve. The catch is the weather, with rain on 184 days a year, and the asphalt plant, which you'll smell before you see.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Moodiesburn's 99 for rain means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Rain99/100184 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires60/10025.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Broadband45/1008.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.6% across the North Lanarkshire council area
- Air pollution35/1009.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene26/1000.0% told to improve, of the 17 food businesses inspected
- Anti-social behaviour18/1005.2 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions14/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills8/1003.1 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Criminal damage and arson1/1002.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Motherwell | 90 |
| 2 | Coatbridge | 85 |
| 3 | Airdrie | 83 |
| 4 | Wishaw | 75 |
| 5 | Bellshill | 73 |
| 6 | Kilsyth | 61 |
| 7 | Viewpark | 53 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.8 | Cumbernauld | 34 |
| – | Moodiesburn | 10 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Moodiesburn by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 24.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 54% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 6 reports of litter and bins on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 8.9 per 10,000 people, 12.7x the typical Scottish town's 0.7
What's left on the high street
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.16am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 25% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,302 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 15% lower than the typical town's 1,532
North Lanarkshire council
- £1,555 Band D council tax (2026-27) Better: £98 less than the Scottish average
- 33% of North Lanarkshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 8% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 119 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld About the same: 34.9 per 100,000 residents, about the same as Scotland's 34.7
- 87.9% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Moodiesburn against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.