Crap Towns / West Sussex / Midhurst
Midhurst
9/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 9. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Yellow windows. Burnt-out North Street.
Midhurst has polo, Tudor ruins and yellow window frames. The burnt-out bit of North Street is the problem.
Midhurst is polo, the Cowdray ruins, the South Downs and window frames painted yellow. It's quiet and posh and nothing gets smashed or set alight. The fire-damaged buildings on North Street have sat behind hoardings for ages with nobody arsed to fix them.
Only 1.8% of premises can get gigabit. That's not a typo. The polo set must be sending emails by pigeon. What it's got instead is 12 hairdressers and charity shops at over five times the typical town's rate per head. Otherwise, irritatingly lovely.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Midhurst's 100 for broadband means it's crapper than 100% of towns.
- Broadband100/10098.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 32.7% across the Chichester council area
- Serious road collisions55/1002.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain45/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene23/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 43 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping23/1006.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Chichester council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution21/1005.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires15/100
- Criminal damage and arson15/1004.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills14/10018.5 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour9/1008.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Haywards Heath | 37 |
| 12 | Burgess Hill | 36 |
| 13 | Horsham | 34 |
| 14 | Lancing and Sompting | 30 |
| 15 | Hassocks and Hurstpierpoint | 26 |
| 16 | Selsey | 16 |
| 17 | Rustington | 15 |
| – | Midhurst | 9 |
| 18 | Southwater | 7 |
Midhurst by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 36.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 52% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.4 per 10,000 people, 2.2x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 5 pubs, 12 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.7 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.9 per 10,000 people, 2.7x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.47pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 4.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 42.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.7x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,687 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Chichester council
- £2,470 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £78 more than the English average
- 19% of West Sussex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Midhurst against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.