Crap Towns / West Sussex / Southwater
Southwater
7/100Crap Score
916th crappest of 984 towns, and 18th in West Sussex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Park properly, you twat.
A nice country park, a dinosaur, and visitors parking across your drive so they don't pay.
Southwater turned its old brickworks into lakes and a country park, dug up an Iguanodon, and built a dinosaur playground. Crime's about a third of the typical town's and the roads are safe. With over three times the typical town's play spaces per head, the kids are sorted.
The only problem is visitors. On sunny weekends they dodge the parking charge by dumping cars across people's drives and blocking the buses. Tight gits. Otherwise Southwater's fine. Sorry.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Southwater's 67 for broadband means it's crapper than 67% of towns.
- Broadband67/1004.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.7% across the Horsham council area
- Sewage spills59/100399 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Food hygiene40/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 12 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping39/1009.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Horsham council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Air pollution30/1006.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain27/100120 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires12/100
- Criminal damage and arson11/1004.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions6/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour5/1006.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 10 | Worthing | 44 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.11 | Haywards Heath | 37 |
| 12 | Burgess Hill | 36 |
| 13 | Horsham | 34 |
| 14 | Lancing and Sompting | 30 |
| 15 | Hassocks and Hurstpierpoint | 26 |
| 16 | Selsey | 16 |
| 17 | Rustington | 15 |
| 18 | Southwater | 7 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Southwater by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 28.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 63% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 3 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.7 per 10,000 people, 21% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2017
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.7 per 10,000 people, 1.7x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 29% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.58pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 12.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 18% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,683 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Horsham council
- £2,441 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £49 more than the English average
- 19% of West Sussex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Southwater against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.