Crap Towns / Renfrewshire / Linwood
Linwood
30/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 30. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Linwood. Famous for shutting.
A car plant town that lost the car plant, then the shopping centre, then the community centre.
Linwood built the Hillman Imp until the car plant shut in 1981, and the town ended up in a famous song for it. The shopping centre was left to rot until it won an award for being an eyesore, then a supermarket knocked it down and the community centre went with it. There's 1 pub and 1 Greggs, and no park at all.
The storm overflows nearby spilled at nearly seven times the typical town's rate, and the graffiti's coming along nicely.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Linwood's 98 for rain means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Rain98/100181 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills93/1001,882 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Deliberate fires50/10022.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene41/1004.0% told to improve, of the 50 food businesses inspected
- Serious road collisions34/1001.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour18/1005.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Air pollution12/1006.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson6/1003.6 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Broadband0/1000.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.3% across the Renfrewshire council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Paisley | 74 |
| 2 | Renfrew | 56 |
| 3 | Johnstone | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Linwood | 30 |
| 4 | Erskine | 14 |
| 5 | Bishopton | 4 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Linwood by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 36.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 33% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 15 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 17.9 per 10,000 people, 3.2x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.04am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Against the typical town's 0.5%
- 35.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 2.3x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,348 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Renfrewshire council
- £1,691 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £38 more than the Scottish average
- 31% of Renfrewshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 84 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 45.7 per 100,000 residents, 32% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 93.5% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Linwood against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.