Crap Towns / Renfrewshire / Elderslie
Elderslie
50/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 50. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Braveheart's gaff, apparently.
A weaving village between Paisley and Johnstone that's been telling everyone who was born here for seven hundred years.
Elderslie reckons Braveheart was born here, and every year folk turn up at the memorial to agree. Other places reckon he wasn't. There was an ancient oak he hid in, which is gone, and a yew, which isn't. That's the tourist trail done.
The storm overflows round here spilled at eleven times the typical town's rate, and there's hardly any park to get away from it in. Pothole reports run at more than ten times the typical Scottish town's rate, so somebody's counting. Not one kitchen in the village was told to improve, mind.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Elderslie's 98 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Sewage spills98/1003,057 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Rain98/100180 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions84/1002.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Deliberate fires38/10014.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson30/1005.6 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Anti-social behaviour26/1006.2 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Food hygiene20/1000.0% told to improve, of the 27 food businesses inspected
- Air pollution13/1006.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband12/1003.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.3% across the Renfrewshire council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Paisley | 74 |
| 2 | Renfrew | 56 |
| – | Elderslie | 50 |
| 3 | Johnstone | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.4 | Erskine | 14 |
| 5 | Bishopton | 4 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Elderslie by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 44.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 19% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 35 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 62.1 per 10,000 people, 11.1x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.23am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 27% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,344 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Renfrewshire council
- £1,691 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £38 more than the Scottish average
- 31% of Renfrewshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 84 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 45.7 per 100,000 residents, 32% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 93.5% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Elderslie against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.