Crap Towns / Renfrewshire / Erskine
Erskine
14/100Crap Score
842nd crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Renfrewshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Erskine. You've driven over it.
A planned town by the Clyde, built so Glasgow had somewhere to put commuters, and it hasn't done much else since.
Most of Scotland knows Erskine as the bridge you cross to get somewhere else. The town at the end of it was planned for commuters and laid out round a shopping centre that's been waiting on regeneration for longer than some of the commuters have been alive. There's woodland at Boden Boo and a wee beach on the Clyde. Crime's 67% lower than in the typical Scottish town, and hardly anybody even shoplifts. There's nothing worth nicking.
The storm overflows nearby spilled at nearly six times the typical town's rate, so the beach is best looked at from the bridge.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Erskine's 97 for rain means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Rain97/100178 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills91/1001,598 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Food hygiene37/1003.5% told to improve, of the 58 food businesses inspected
- Deliberate fires22/1009.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution15/1006.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband12/1003.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.3% across the Renfrewshire council area
- Serious road collisions10/1000.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour6/1003.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Criminal damage and arson0/1002.3 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Paisley | 74 |
| 2 | Renfrew | 56 |
| 3 | Johnstone | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.4 | Erskine | 14 |
| 5 | Bishopton | 4 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Erskine by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 17.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 67% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 16 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 10.8 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.29am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 45% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,347 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Renfrewshire council
- £1,691 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £38 more than the Scottish average
- 31% of Renfrewshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 84 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 45.7 per 100,000 residents, 32% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 93.5% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Erskine against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.