Crap Towns / Renfrewshire / Johnstone
Johnstone
45/100Crap Score
540th crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in Renfrewshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Johnstone? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Johnstone. It's wet. It's on fire.
An old cotton town on the Black Cart, with a town square, a bandstand and buildings falling down round both.
Johnstone keeps its local history museum inside Morrisons, next to the tills, which tells you how much room the town's history gets. The mills that built the place went long ago. The planned squares and the bandstand are still there, and some of the buildings round them are falling down.
The firebugs run Johnstone after dark. Deliberate fires come in at more than twice the typical Scottish town's rate, the bins first and then the grass, and 2023/24 was worse. Not one of the takeaways was told to improve, mind, so at least the chips are safe.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Johnstone's 99 for rain means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Rain99/100187 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires93/10050.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions80/1002.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills75/100735 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Criminal damage and arson32/1005.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Anti-social behaviour29/1006.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Air pollution9/1005.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene3/1000.0% told to improve, of the 125 food businesses inspected
- Broadband1/1001.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.3% across the Renfrewshire council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Paisley | 74 |
| 2 | Renfrew | 56 |
| 3 | Johnstone | 45 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.4 | Erskine | 14 |
| 5 | Bishopton | 4 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Johnstone by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 42.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 23% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 18 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 10.9 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 7 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways inspected told to improve (0 of 23) Better: Against the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 6.1 per 100,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 63% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.29am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 2.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 81% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,359 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 11% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Renfrewshire council
- £1,691 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £38 more than the Scottish average
- 31% of Renfrewshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 84 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 45.7 per 100,000 residents, 32% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 93.5% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Johnstone against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.