Crap Towns / Norfolk / Hemsby
Hemsby
19/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 19. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Hemsby. Bring coins.
A sandy beach, arcades on Beach Road, and an old Pontins rotting away.
Hemsby is old school seaside. Sand, dunes, arcades, crazy golf, chalets and caravans. The old Pontins has been sat there rotting for years while they argue about what to do with it, and the sea's been chewing at the dunes the whole time.
There are 6 pubs, 1 hairdresser and 6 public loos, which tells you the order things happen in on a day out in Hemsby. Nobody causes bother, apart from whoever keeps dumping crap round the lanes: the Great Yarmouth council area gets fly-tipped at three times the typical council's rate. Bring a bag of change and a windbreak.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hemsby's 94 for broadband means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Broadband94/10027.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 12.3% across the Great Yarmouth council area
- Fly-tipping94/10033.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Great Yarmouth council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires55/1006.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene38/1001.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 63 food businesses with a rating
- Criminal damage and arson36/1006.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution27/1005.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain19/100117 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour8/1007.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions7/1000.7 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Thetford | 49 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Dereham | 35 |
| 7 | Downham Market | 33 |
| 8 | Bradwell | 33 |
| – | Hemsby | 19 |
| 9 | Wymondham | 18 |
| 10 | North Walsham | 17 |
| 11 | Watton | 10 |
| 12 | Attleborough | 4 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Hemsby by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 47.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 38% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of broken street lights on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.0 per 10,000 people, 10x the typical town's 0.7
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
- Excellent Hemsby's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 7.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 13) Worse: 1.9x the typical town's 4.0%
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 10.5 per 10,000 people, 6.6x the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.37pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 38.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,773 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 16% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Great Yarmouth council
- £2,414 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £22 more than the English average
- 8% of Norfolk County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 50% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hemsby against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.