Crap Towns / Falkirk / Grangemouth
Grangemouth
76/100Crap Score
239th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Falkirk. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Grangemouth. Breathe through your mouth.
A refinery town whose refinery stopped refining. The flare stacks and the rotten-egg smell are still there.
Grangemouth is what you see from the M9 at night: flare stacks, chimneys and a thousand lights, like the opening of The Simpsons with a worse smell. The refinery stopped refining and the rest of the complex carried on regardless. On a bad day you can taste the wind.
Tankers and container lorries for the port go through the middle of it all, and serious crashes come in at 1.8 times the typical Scottish town's rate. Sewage spills run at nearly eight times the typical town's. The town centre is bookies and Greggs, with four times the typical town's Greggs per head. Falkirk's crapper. Not by much.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Grangemouth's 97 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Serious road collisions97/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills94/1002,139 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Criminal damage and arson79/1009.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Anti-social behaviour79/10012.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Rain68/100142 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Broadband33/1006.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.7% across the Falkirk council area
- Air pollution26/1008.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires14/1008.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene11/1001.1% told to improve, of the 89 food businesses inspected
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Falkirk | 82 |
| 2 | Grangemouth | 76 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Larbert | 38 |
| 4 | Bo'ness | 23 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Grangemouth by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 74.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Worse: 37% higher than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 1 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 1.5x the typical Scottish town's 0.4
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 5 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 1 bank, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways inspected told to improve (0 of 13) Better: Against the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 6.2 per 100,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 25% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.30pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 14.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 6% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,353 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Falkirk council
- £1,715 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £62 more than the Scottish average
- 34% of Falkirk council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 90 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 1 upheld Worse: 56.8 per 100,000 residents, 1.6x Scotland's 34.7
- 90.3% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Grangemouth against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.