Crap Towns / Falkirk / Bo'ness
Bo'ness
23/100Crap Score
755th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Falkirk. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Bo'ness? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Steam trains. Not much else moves.
A steam railway, the oldest cinema in Scotland and a marina it's been promised for longer than anyone can remember.
Bo'ness used to ship coal. Now it runs steam trains up and down the shore for the tourists, shows silent films at the Hippodrome and talks about the marina it was promised. Still talking. The foreshore's mud, the High Street's hairdressers, and for a town this size there's hardly a pub to be had.
Crime is well below the typical Scottish town's and not one food business was told to improve. The grass still goes up more often than in the typical Scottish town, mind. And the Fair is sacred. Every summer the town builds arches over the front doors and crowns a Fair Queen, and if you call it a gala they'll put you on the next steam train out. Linlithgow have a gala. Bo'ness have the Fair.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bo'ness's 71 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 71% of towns.
- Sewage spills71/100627 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Rain71/100146 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires65/10028.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Criminal damage and arson34/1005.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions33/1001.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour23/1005.8 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Broadband22/1003.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.7% across the Falkirk council area
- Air pollution15/1006.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene6/1000.0% told to improve, of the 73 food businesses inspected
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Falkirk | 82 |
| 2 | Grangemouth | 76 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Larbert | 38 |
| 4 | Bo'ness | 23 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bo'ness by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 34.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 37% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 1 problem reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 97% lower than the typical Scottish town's 20.1
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs, 10 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways inspected told to improve (0 of 10) Better: Against the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 banking hub opened here
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.15pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 6.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 59% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,386 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 10% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Falkirk council
- £1,715 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £62 more than the Scottish average
- 34% of Falkirk council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 90 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 1 upheld Worse: 56.8 per 100,000 residents, 1.6x Scotland's 34.7
- 90.3% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bo'ness against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.