Crap Towns / Dorset / Corfe Mullen
Corfe Mullen
14/100Crap Score
848th crappest of 984 towns, and 10th in Dorset. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Corfe Mullen. Village, apparently.
Nobody misbehaves in Corfe Mullen. They just drive through it to get to Poole.
Corfe Mullen is a nice village with a carnival and hardly any crime, which leaves the locals with the traffic to moan about. Everyone uses it as a short cut to Poole. Now they're building more houses, so there'll be more cars.
It's spread a fair way up the hill for something that still calls itself a village, and over a third of it lives more than 400 metres from a park. Dorset charges £2,765 for a Band D home for the privilege of being driven through. That's genuinely it. That's the worst of it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Corfe Mullen's 86 for broadband means it's crapper than 86% of towns.
- Broadband86/10012.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.3% across the Dorset council area
- Sewage spills69/100585 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain52/100129 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires41/1005.3 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Serious road collisions38/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Food hygiene37/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 18 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution21/1006.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour10/1008.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping8/1004.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Dorset council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson5/1003.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Christchurch | 22 |
| 7 | West Moors | 20 |
| 8 | Sherborne | 19 |
| 9 | Wimborne Minster | 19 |
| 10 | Corfe Mullen | 14 |
| 11 | Ferndown | 10 |
| 12 | Blandford Forum | 8 |
| 13 | Gillingham | 8 |
| 14 | Verwood | 2 |
Corfe Mullen by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 25.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 66% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of abandoned vehicles on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 2.2x the typical town's 0.9
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 2 pubs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public swimming pool open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 43% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.02am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 2.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 4x the typical town's 0.5%
- 37.4% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.4x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,706 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 11% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Dorset council
Have a crap-off
Corfe Mullen against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.