Crap Towns / Dorset / Ferndown
Ferndown
10/100Crap Score
885th crappest of 984 towns, and 11th in Dorset. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Ferndown. Nothing much here.
Clean, tidy and safe. The highlight is a nature reserve called Slop Bog.
Ferndown is golf, a big industrial estate and Penny's Walk, a precinct that looks like it went up in a weekend. There's no proper middle, and the trees in the centre got chopped down.
For a town that's mostly golf course, 71.8% of people live more than 400 metres from the nearest park or playground, over four times the typical town's share. The kids can always caddie. Hardly any vandalism or fly-tipping, to be fair. And there's a nature reserve called Slop Bog.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ferndown's 92 for broadband means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Broadband92/10019.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.3% across the Dorset council area
- Serious road collisions65/1002.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain48/100127 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills31/100102 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution29/1007.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires25/1003.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour18/10010.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene12/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 68 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping8/1004.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Dorset council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson3/1003.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Christchurch | 22 |
| 7 | West Moors | 20 |
| 8 | Sherborne | 19 |
| 9 | Wimborne Minster | 19 |
| 10 | Corfe Mullen | 14 |
| 11 | Ferndown | 10 |
| 12 | Blandford Forum | 8 |
| 13 | Gillingham | 8 |
| 14 | Verwood | 2 |
Ferndown by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 31.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 59% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 9 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 6.8 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 9 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 14) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 7.5 per 100,000 people, 2.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.0 per 10,000 people, 1.9x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 1.5 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.43am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 71.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 4.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,742 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 14% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Dorset council
Have a crap-off
Ferndown against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.