Crap Towns / Gloucestershire / Cinderford
Cinderford
81/100Crap Score
Known as Monkey Tump. Also Zinderford.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 81. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The miner's statue looks fed up
A miner statue, a lot of empty shops and fireworks going off in the street.
Cinderford's got a miner statue in the middle of town and a high street of empty shops, vape shops, charity shops and Greggs. Locals moan about people hanging about being a nuisance, fireworks in the street and regeneration that never shows. Anti-social behaviour runs at 1.7 times the typical town's rate.
Deliberate fires run at nearly three times the typical town's rate, mostly grass and woods. A town in the middle of the Forest of Dean, and the hobby is setting fire to it. There's no park on the map either. The Forest's lovely. Head for the trees, before somebody lights them.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Cinderford's 92 for broadband means it's crapper than 92% of towns.
- Broadband92/10021.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 20.5% across the Forest of Dean council area
- Anti-social behaviour85/10023.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires82/10015.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills78/100807 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping75/10016.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Forest of Dean council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain66/100138 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson53/1007.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene42/1001.9% rated 0 to 2, of the 54 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions38/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution21/1005.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| – | Cinderford | 81 |
| 1 | Filton | 70 |
| 2 | Gloucester | 66 |
| 3 | Patchway | 57 |
| 4 | Cheltenham | 54 |
| 5 | Stroud | 44 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.6 | Kingswood and Fishponds | 39 |
| 7 | Tewkesbury | 38 |
| 8 | Quedgeley and Hardwicke | 37 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Cinderford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 81.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 6% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 635 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 724 per 10,000 people, 212.9x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 13) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 11.4 per 100,000 people, 3.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open Better: 2.3 per 10,000 people, 3.3x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.47pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 7.2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 23.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,583 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Forest of Dean council
- £2,443 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £51 more than the English average
- 26% of Gloucestershire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 1.6x England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Cinderford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.