Crap Towns / Falkirk / Bonnybridge
Bonnybridge
64/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 64. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bonnybridge. Even the aliens left.
The Falkirk Triangle's UFO capital. The aliens can land here. The trains can't.
Bonnybridge reckons it gets more UFO sightings than anywhere on the planet, thanks to the Falkirk Triangle. Somebody was always going to build a visitor centre for it. Nobody did. The town's been asking for a railway station for years as well, and the aliens are getting the better service.
Some of those lights in the sky will be the grass going up. Deliberate fires run at two and a half times the typical Scottish town's rate, mostly grass and woods, and the storm overflows spilled for 2,676 hours per 10,000 people a year, nearly ten times the typical town's. With 174 wet days a year, anything that lands gets soaked.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bonnybridge's 97 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Sewage spills97/1002,676 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain95/100174 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires94/10055.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene72/10010.7% told to improve, of the 28 food businesses inspected
- Anti-social behaviour69/10010.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Criminal damage and arson26/1005.3 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Broadband18/1003.2% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.7% across the Falkirk council area
- Air pollution18/1006.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions14/1000.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Falkirk | 82 |
| 2 | Grangemouth | 76 |
| – | Bonnybridge | 64 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.3 | Larbert | 38 |
| 4 | Bo'ness | 23 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bonnybridge by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.0 per 10,000 people, 25% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.14pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 0.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: Against the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,342 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 12% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Falkirk council
- £1,715 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £62 more than the Scottish average
- 34% of Falkirk council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 6% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 90 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, 1 upheld Worse: 56.8 per 100,000 residents, 1.6x Scotland's 34.7
- 90.3% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bonnybridge against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.