Crap Towns / East Dunbartonshire / Bishopbriggs
Bishopbriggs
13/100Crap Score
Known as the Briggs.
857th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in East Dunbartonshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
The Briggs. Commuters with a grudge.
It dug the stone that built Glasgow, then spent years fighting to stay out of it.
Bishopbriggs quarried the sandstone that built Glasgow, then fought tooth and nail to make sure it never became part of it. It's a commuter town with a train into Queen Street and a shopping centre called the Triangle that has seen better days.
Crime runs at less than half the typical Scottish town's rate, and gigabit broadband reaches nearly every door, so the Briggs can work from home and avoid Glasgow altogether. It rains on 180 days a year. That's the one Glasgow thing they couldn't keep out.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bishopbriggs's 98 for rain means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Rain98/100180 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene59/1006.7% told to improve, of the 75 food businesses inspected
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Serious road collisions37/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires35/10013.6 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution34/1008.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband12/1000.9% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.9% across the East Dunbartonshire council area
- Anti-social behaviour10/1003.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Sewage spills5/1000.5 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Criminal damage and arson1/1002.6 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kirkintilloch | 27 |
| 2 | Bishopbriggs | 13 |
| 3 | Milngavie | 4 |
| 4 | Bearsden | 3 |
Bishopbriggs by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 24.2 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 56% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 21 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 8.8 per 10,000 people, 1.6x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 3 bookmakers, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 9.5% of takeaways inspected told to improve (2 of 21) About the same: About the same as the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 4.2 per 100,000 people, 24% higher than the typical town's 3.4
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.31am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 36% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,310 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 14% lower than the typical town's 1,532
East Dunbartonshire council
- £1,752 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £99 more than the Scottish average
- 35% of East Dunbartonshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 36%
- 45 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 41.3 per 100,000 residents, 19% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 90.9% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bishopbriggs against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.