Crap Towns / East Dunbartonshire / Bearsden
Bearsden
3/100Crap Score
951st crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in East Dunbartonshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bearsden. It's lovely. We know.
Big houses, good schools and parents who'll tell you about both before you've got your coat off.
Bearsden is the posh bit north-west of Glasgow, and it's been insufferable about it since the Romans put a bath-house here. Big sandstone villas, school catchments people move house for, 22 hairdressers and 3 pubs. That tells you all you need to know about a Saturday in Bearsden. Crime is 73% lower than in the typical Scottish town, and anti-social behaviour barely registers.
With nothing to report to the police, they report it to the council instead. Folk here put problems on FixMyStreet at 2.7 times the typical Scottish town's rate, mostly potholes on the school run. And it rains on 181 days a year, the one thing round here the house prices can't fix.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bearsden's 98 for rain means it's crapper than 98% of towns.
- Rain98/100181 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Serious road collisions34/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband25/1003.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 7.9% across the East Dunbartonshire council area
- Air pollution23/1007.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene21/1002.5% told to improve, of the 80 food businesses inspected
- Sewage spills10/1006.8 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Deliberate fires4/1005.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson0/1001.9 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Anti-social behaviour0/1001.5 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Kirkintilloch | 27 |
| 2 | Bishopbriggs | 13 |
| 3 | Milngavie | 4 |
| 4 | Bearsden | 3 |
Bearsden by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 14.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 73% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 68 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 23.9 per 10,000 people, 4.3x the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 22 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.6% of takeaways inspected told to improve (1 of 18) Better: 38% lower than the typical Scottish town's 9.1%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 About the same: 3.5 per 100,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 3.4
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.41am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 2x the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 47% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,333 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 13% lower than the typical town's 1,532
East Dunbartonshire council
- £1,752 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £99 more than the Scottish average
- 35% of East Dunbartonshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 36%
- 45 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 41.3 per 100,000 residents, 19% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 90.9% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Bearsden against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.