Crap Towns / Leicestershire / Birstall
Birstall
1/100Crap Score
979th crappest of 984 towns, and 18th in Leicestershire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Sickeningly nice, apart from the air
We looked for something wrong. We found the air, and not a lot else.
Birstall's about as far from crap as it gets and it's done our heads in. Watermead's lovely, there's no crime to speak of, nobody dumps anything and the buses run all night. Every house has a drive and every car is parked on the street outside it. You can't get in at the doctor's. That's the list.
Then we checked the air. The nitrogen dioxide is nearly half as much again as the typical town's. And for all the lakes, more than four in ten people live over 400 metres from a park or play space. There are 3 pubs in the place. For somewhere this nice, nobody seems to go out.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Birstall's 89 for air pollution means it's crapper than 89% of towns.
- Air pollution89/10012.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Food hygiene39/1001.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 62 food businesses with a rating
- Rain20/100118 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson18/1004.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills14/10018.2 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping14/1005.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Charnwood council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires14/1002.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Broadband11/1001.6% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 6.3% across the Charnwood council area
- Anti-social behaviour6/1007.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions1/1000.6 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Mountsorrel | 10 |
| 12 | Earl Shilton | 9 |
| 13 | Ashby-de-la-Zouch | 7 |
| 14 | Lutterworth | 2 |
| 15 | Syston | 1 |
| 16 | Market Harborough | 1 |
| 17 | Wigston | 1 |
| 18 | Birstall | 1 |
| 19 | Oadby | 0 |
Birstall by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 47.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 38% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 2.8 per 10,000 people, 18% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 1 hairdresser, 1 charity shop, 2 bookmakers, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 7.0 per 100,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 31% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open; 1 closed for good since 2010 About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 42.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.8x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,482 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Charnwood council
- £2,406 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £14 more than the English average
- 11% of Leicestershire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 31% lower than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Birstall against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.