Crap Towns / North Ayrshire / Beith
Beith
37/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 37. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Beith. The Cabes are still here.
Built furniture for half of Scotland, then lost the factories and the station and held on to the pubs.
Beith made furniture for half of Scotland, which is why the football team are still the Cabes, short for Cabinet Makers. The furniture makers went, the stations went, and the town sits up on its hill getting rained on. It has about half as many pubs again per head as the typical town, which is how you get through that.
Serious crashes come in at 41% above the typical Scottish town's. Beith and Kilbirnie have never had a good word for each other, and they're not starting now.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Beith's 99 for rain means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Rain99/100194 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Serious road collisions77/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband54/1005.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.3% across the North Ayrshire council area
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Anti-social behaviour40/1007.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Food hygiene40/1003.3% told to improve, of the 30 food businesses inspected
- Criminal damage and arson31/1005.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Deliberate fires14/1007.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Sewage spills9/1006.2 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Air pollution1/1003.4 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Saltcoats | 87 |
| 2 | Irvine | 77 |
| 3 | Kilwinning | 58 |
| 4 | Largs | 46 |
| 5 | Ardrossan | 46 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.– | Beith | 37 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Beith by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 42.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 23% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 3.5 per 10,000 people, 38% lower than the typical Scottish town's 5.6
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 1 hairdresser on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 6% higher than the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.09am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 33.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,299 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 15% lower than the typical town's 1,532
North Ayrshire council
- £1,686 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £33 more than the Scottish average
- 31% of North Ayrshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 50 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 37.4 per 100,000 residents, 8% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 89.6% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Beith against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.