Crap Towns / North Ayrshire / Largs
Largs
46/100Crap Score
534th crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in North Ayrshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Ice cream, palm trees and drizzle.
The Vikings lost a battle here in 1263 and the town has dressed up as them every year since.
Largs is where the west of Scotland goes for a cone and a walk along the prom, and where a lot of it ends up retiring. There are palm trees on the front, which is optimistic for somewhere this wet and this grey. The Vikings turned up in 1263, got battered and went home. The day-trippers keep coming back.
Behind the front, the vape shops and charity shops have the run of the place: six times the vape shops you'd expect for a town its size, and nearly four times the charity shops. Two banks have announced closures since 2022. Gigabit broadband misses more than a third of the town, and the pensioners have noticed.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Largs's 99 for rain means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Rain99/100191 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband97/10035.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.3% across the North Ayrshire council area
- Sewage spills87/1001,254 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2025
- Fly-tipping50/100
- Anti-social behaviour40/1007.1 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Food hygiene39/1004.1% told to improve, of the 98 food businesses inspected
- Criminal damage and arson31/1005.7 per 1,000 people a year, January 2023 to December 2025
- Serious road collisions30/1001.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires13/1007.9 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution2/1004.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 4.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Saltcoats | 87 |
| 2 | Irvine | 77 |
| 3 | Kilwinning | 58 |
| 4 | Largs | 46 |
| 5 | Ardrossan | 46 |
Largs by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 42.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (January 2023 to December 2025) Better: 23% lower than the typical Scottish town's 54.4
- 1 problem reported on FixMyStreet in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 96% lower than the typical Scottish town's 20.1
- Excellent Largs (Pencil Beach)'s bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 6 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 vape shops, 1 bank, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 18.3 per 100,000 people, 5.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 4 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.7 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.03am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.9% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 1.8x the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 45% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,293 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 16% lower than the typical town's 1,532
North Ayrshire council
- £1,686 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £33 more than the Scottish average
- 31% of North Ayrshire council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 14% lower than Scotland's 36%
- 50 ombudsman complaints decided in 2025-26, none upheld Worse: 37.4 per 100,000 residents, 8% higher than Scotland's 34.7
- 89.6% of the streets checked passed as clean (2025-26) About the same: About the same as Scotland's 92.2%
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Largs against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.