Crap Towns / Gwent / Bargod
Bargod
85/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 85. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Bargod? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Where did the regeneration go?
The regeneration money got spent. The shops shut anyway.
Bargod got the regeneration money and the shops still shut. The old names go one after another, and what fills the gaps is hairdressers and vape shops. Over three times the typical town's hairdressers per head and eight times its vape shops. Everyone in Bargod looks sharp and smells of blueberry.
The giant miners' heads in the middle of town look as pissed off as everyone else. There's rain on 167 days a year, and sewage comes out of the overflows for 14 times as long as in the typical town. Nobody can agree how you say the name either.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Bargod's 99 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Sewage spills99/1003,875 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain89/100167 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Criminal damage and arson88/10011.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene70/1004.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 65 food businesses with a rating
- Anti-social behaviour69/10018.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping67/10014.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Caerphilly council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Broadband55/1008.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.3% across the Caerphilly council area
- Deliberate fires50/100
- Serious road collisions41/1002.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution18/1006.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Blackwood | 92 |
| 7 | Caerphilly | 88 |
| 8 | Pontypool | 86 |
| 9 | Ystrad Mynach | 85 |
| – | Bargod | 85 |
| 10 | Cwmbrân | 75 |
| 11 | Chepstow | 59 |
| 12 | Abergavenny | 57 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.13 | Monmouth | 31 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Bargod by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 102 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 34% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 1 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 65% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 2 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 2 vape shops, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 11) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Worse: 12.4 per 100,000 people, 3.6x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.7 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 1.6
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 11.25pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 21.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 37% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,409 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 8% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Caerphilly council
Have a crap-off
Bargod against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.