Crap Towns / West Midlands / Balsall Common
Balsall Common
31/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 31. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Even the station won't admit it's here.
Its station and its windmill both say they're somewhere else. Can't blame them.
Balsall Common's got a station called Berkswell and a windmill called Berkswell, which tells you what everyone thinks of the name. Otherwise it's a tidy commuter village where nobody does anything wrong. They begged for a bypass for years and got HS2 instead: lorries up and down Kenilworth Road all day, for a railway that won't stop for them.
What it does have is sewage. The storm overflows within a kilometre spill at 14.6 times the typical town's rate, which for a village this pleased with itself is quite something. There's no public park on the map, and on a Wednesday the last bus is at 7.57pm. On a Sunday there's no bus at all. Nobody's going anywhere, so at least they're all home to smell it.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Balsall Common's 99 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Sewage spills99/1004,026 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping76/10017.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Solihull council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Rain59/100133 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband59/10012.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.6% across the Solihull council area
- Air pollution40/1007.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.7 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires37/1004.7 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene32/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 25 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions13/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour4/1004.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson2/1002.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 21 | Stourbridge | 41 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.22 | Royal Sutton Coldfield | 36 |
| 23 | Aldridge | 36 |
| 24 | Coseley | 35 |
| – | Balsall Common | 31 |
| 25 | Solihull | 30 |
| 26 | Sedgley | 24 |
| 27 | Kingswinford | 19 |
| 28 | Streetly | 16 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Balsall Common by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 37.9 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 50% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 37 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 52.1 per 10,000 people, 15.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2016
What's left on the high street
- 4 pubs, 2 hairdressers, 1 charity shop on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.4 per 10,000 people, 2x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.57pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 54.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 3.5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,548 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Solihull council
Have a crap-off
Balsall Common against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.