Crap Towns / Surrey / Virginia Water
Virginia Water
64/100Crap Score
Locals call it VW.
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 64. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Rich, and nobody's in.
Massive houses behind gates. No high street, no signal, and nobody says hello.
Virginia Water is massive houses behind electric gates, and the lake in Windsor Great Park. There's no proper high street, so you drive to buy milk, and there's no phone signal either. Lots of money. No neighbours.
People get killed or badly hurt on the roads at 2.6 times the typical town's rate, and the overflows round the place ran for over eight times as long as the typical town's. The gates keep the neighbours out. Not the sewage. The last bus home is at 7.02pm and Sunday's a write-off, which nobody here has noticed.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Virginia Water's 96 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Serious road collisions96/1006.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills95/1002,268 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution83/10011.6 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping68/10014.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Runnymede council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene57/1004.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 25 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband53/1006.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 14.2% across the Runnymede council area
- Deliberate fires36/100
- Rain14/100115 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour7/1007.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson6/1003.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 6 | Chertsey | 72 |
| 7 | Addlestone | 67 |
| 8 | Egham | 67 |
| 9 | Reigate | 67 |
| – | Virginia Water | 64 |
| 10 | Woking | 60 |
| 11 | Walton-on-Thames | 59 |
| 12 | Oxted | 57 |
| 13 | Weybridge | 55 |
Virginia Water by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 46.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 39% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 282 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 544 per 10,000 people, 160x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
What's left on the high street
- 1 pub, 5 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.9 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 5.8 per 10,000 people, 8.3x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.02pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.3% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 35.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.3x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,680 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 10% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Runnymede council
Have a crap-off
Virginia Water against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.