Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Tyldesley
Tyldesley
68/100Crap Score
311th crappest of 984 towns, and 46th in Greater Manchester. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Bongs. It's after a hill.
Tyldesley sits on a sandstone ridge, and that's where the name Bongs comes from. Nobody believes them.
Tyldesley is Bongs to locals, after the ridge the town sits on, and they've explained that to every visitor since. It was mills, pits and a brass band, and the band's still going. Now it's lorries squeezing down Elliott Street, a row about making it one-way and the guided bus to Manchester.
The kitchens need explaining too. One in six takeaways with a rating scores 0 to 2 for hygiene, four times the typical town's share. Sewage goes in the water for more than four times the typical town's hours, and there are more bookies per head than most towns. Atherton next door's called Bent. Bongs has that, at least.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Tyldesley's 90 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 90% of towns.
- Food hygiene90/1008.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 80 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills86/1001,158 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Rain83/100160 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires76/10011.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson76/1009.2 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Anti-social behaviour66/10017.5 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Air pollution64/10010.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.8 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping35/1008.4 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Wigan council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions17/1001.5 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Broadband6/1002.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 3.5% across the Wigan council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 42 | Atherton | 74 |
| 43 | Bredbury and Woodley | 72 |
| 44 | Shaw | 72 |
| 45 | Droylsden | 70 |
| 46 | Tyldesley | 68 |
| 47 | Westhoughton | 68 |
| 48 | Lees | 67 |
| 49 | Ramsbottom | 65 |
| 50 | Marple | 64 |
Tyldesley by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 89.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Worse: 17% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 2 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 1.2 per 10,000 people, 65% lower than the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 12 pubs, 12 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 3 bookmakers, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 16.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 18) Worse: 4.2x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 63% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Worse: 0.6 per 10,000 people, 14% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 2.17am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- Under 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: Far lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 41% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,423 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 7% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Wigan council
Have a crap-off
Tyldesley against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.