Gawbies paid to watch a chimney.

Shaw folk are Gawbies, because Royton says they once paid good money to watch a mill chimney come down. Royton's never let it go. The mills are full of parcels now, the high street's mostly charity shops and the council's got its eye on the Big Lamp. Shaw's had its baths and town hall taken already, so you can see why it's touchy.

The rain turns up on 176 days a year and the sun manages 1,286 hours. There's one public park, but there are 11 public toilets, nearly four times the typical town's rate per head, so you'll never be caught short while you're getting soaked.

The editor, who told Royton nothing