Crap Towns / West Sussex / Steyning
Steyning
25/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 25. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
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Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Very proper. Lots of shoplifting.
Smug old market town under the Downs. The shoplifting figures are less respectable.
Steyning is a pretty little market town under the South Downs, with twittens, a clock tower and a medieval grudge against Bramber over river tolls. It's pronounced Stenning, and they will tell you. People park wherever they like on the High Street.
Then there's the shoplifting, at nearly three times the typical town's rate, in a town with 3 pubs, 1 hairdresser and 2 charity shops. Somebody's nicking from somewhere. The storm overflows spilled for 2.7 times as long as the typical town's, and the buses hardly come. Very proper.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Steyning's 91 for broadband means it's crapper than 91% of towns.
- Broadband91/10018.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 23.7% across the Horsham council area
- Sewage spills76/100747 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Serious road collisions43/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain39/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping39/1009.1 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Horsham council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Food hygiene32/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 26 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution26/1006.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson20/1004.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires18/100
- Anti-social behaviour13/1008.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Haywards Heath | 37 |
| 12 | Burgess Hill | 36 |
| 13 | Horsham | 34 |
| 14 | Lancing and Sompting | 30 |
| 15 | Hassocks and Hurstpierpoint | 26 |
| – | Steyning | 25 |
| 16 | Selsey | 16 |
| 17 | Rustington | 15 |
| 18 | Southwater | 7 |
Steyning by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 50.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 34% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 4 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.3 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 3.4
What's left on the high street
- 3 pubs, 1 hairdresser, 2 charity shops on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 5.4 per 10,000 people, 3.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 2.6x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.04am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 3.0% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 24.1% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 1.6x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,755 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 15% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Horsham council
- £2,441 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £49 more than the English average
- 19% of West Sussex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 19% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Steyning against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.