Crap Towns / Shropshire / Shifnal
Shifnal
1/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 1. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Clean, safe, and no bloody use to us
A carnival, a funfair and not much else wrong with it, annoyingly.
Shifnal is one of those places with nothing much wrong with it, which is no use to us. Low crime, nothing spilling into the river, clean kitchens. Dickens is supposed to have based the Old Curiosity Shop on a building here, and once a year the carnival turns up and the town calls itself Shifanapa for the week. Some call it Shitnal. Unfair, really.
It's got pubs, 2.5 times the typical town's per head, which is handy, because you're not leaving. The last bus is at 5.48pm on a Wednesday and there isn't one on a Sunday. The new High Street paving is already patched with tarmac, and that's the nearest thing to a scandal going.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Shifnal's 72 for broadband means it's crapper than 72% of towns.
- Broadband72/1005.0% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 25.4% across the Shropshire council area
- Rain59/100133 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires39/1005.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene28/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 33 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution25/1005.8 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Serious road collisions11/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson9/1003.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping9/1004.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Shropshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Anti-social behaviour2/1005.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Telford | 59 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | Shrewsbury | 39 |
| 3 | Newport | 29 |
| 4 | Oswestry | 28 |
| 5 | Bridgnorth | 23 |
| 6 | Ludlow | 19 |
| 7 | Market Drayton | 8 |
| – | Shifnal | 1 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Shifnal by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 53.0 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 30% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 233 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 259 per 10,000 people, 76.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2019
What's left on the high street
- 11 pubs, 5 hairdressers, 3 charity shops, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 1 cash machine closure assessed by LINK
- 1 public toilet on the map (October 2026) Worse: 1.1 per 10,000 people, 31% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 5.48pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 18.6% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,461 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
Shropshire council
Have a crap-off
Shifnal against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.