Crap Towns / Shropshire / Ludlow
Ludlow
19/100Crap Score
People from here are Ludlovians.
798th crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Shropshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Ludlow? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Posh nosh, shit river.
A castle, a food festival, a load of scaffolding and sewage in the Teme.
Ludlow is a medieval market town with a castle, a famous food festival and a lot of opinions about cheese. It's also got empty shops, scaffolding that's been up for ages and takeaway rubbish all over the market square at night. Ludlovians call it Lugla, which isn't very gourmet either.
Then there's the Teme. Its bathing water was rated Poor in 2025, and the storm overflows spill for 4.9 times as long as the typical town's. Fine dining by a river full of shit. The last bus on a Wednesday leaves at 7.48pm and there isn't one on a Sunday, so nobody's staying for pudding.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Ludlow's 88 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 88% of towns.
- Sewage spills88/1001,347 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson80/1009.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband63/1002.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 25.4% across the Shropshire council area
- Rain54/100130 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour40/10013.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene28/1001.2% rated 0 to 2, of the 84 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping9/1004.3 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Shropshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions8/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution8/1004.0 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Deliberate fires2/1001.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Telford | 59 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | Shrewsbury | 39 |
| 3 | Newport | 29 |
| 4 | Oswestry | 28 |
| 5 | Bridgnorth | 23 |
| 6 | Ludlow | 19 |
| 7 | Market Drayton | 8 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Ludlow by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 72.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 334 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 333 per 10,000 people, 97.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2022
- Poor River Teme in Ludlow's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 14 pubs, 12 hairdressers, 4 charity shops, 2 bookmakers, 1 vape shop, 3 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 9.1% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 11) Worse: 2.3x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 19.9 per 100,000 people, 5.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 7.0 per 10,000 people, 4.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 3.0 per 10,000 people, 4.3x the typical English town's 0.7
- 3 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.48pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 8.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 43% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,455 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 5% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Shropshire council
Have a crap-off
Ludlow against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.