Crap Towns / East Sussex / Seaford
Seaford
8/100Crap Score
907th crappest of 984 towns, and 12th in East Sussex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Where everyone's a Shag.
Chalk cliffs, beach huts, a Martello tower, and the locals are called Shags. Honestly.
Seaford has chalk cliffs, a shingle beach, beach huts and a Martello tower, and the locals are called Shags after the seabirds. Crime's half the typical town's, nobody fly-tips and the sea's rated Excellent. The Shags know it, and they look down on Newhaven from a great height.
They pay for it, mind. A Band D in the Lewes council area costs £2,756, and over a fifth of premises still can't get gigabit broadband, so you pay top whack to sit there buffering. The trains to London are rubbish, the High Street does vape shops and charity shops, and Exceat Bridge backs up every summer.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Seaford's 94 for broadband means it's crapper than 94% of towns.
- Broadband94/10021.4% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 25.6% across the Lewes council area
- Food hygiene68/1003.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 105 food businesses with a rating
- Serious road collisions51/1002.4 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain23/100118 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution22/1005.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Anti-social behaviour14/1009.1 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills10/1006.9 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Criminal damage and arson7/1003.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping7/1004.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Lewes council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires5/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Eastbourne | 66 |
| 5 | Bexhill-on-Sea | 54 |
| 6 | Brighton and Hove | 51 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.7 | Hailsham | 35 |
| 8 | Peacehaven | 30 |
| 9 | Polegate | 23 |
| 10 | Uckfield | 18 |
| 11 | Crowborough | 9 |
| 12 | Seaford | 8 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Seaford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 39.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 49% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 64 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 26.8 per 10,000 people, 7.9x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2016
- Excellent Seaford's bathing water rating, 2025
What's left on the high street
- 8 pubs, 15 hairdressers, 7 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 3 vape shops, 1 bank on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 0.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (0 of 14) Better: Against the typical town's 4.0%
- 3 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 12.6 per 100,000 people, 3.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 7 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.9 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 1.6
- 1 public swimming pool open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.53am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 32.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 2.1x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,818 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 19% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Lewes council
- £2,756 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £364 more than the English average
- 18% of East Sussex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 13% higher than England's 16%
- 3 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Seaford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.