Crap Towns / Dorset / Poole
Poole
49/100Crap Score
Known as Bandit Country.
498th crappest of 984 towns, and 2nd in Dorset. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Poole? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
The squirrels have the best of it.
Poole's got a gorgeous harbour, red squirrels on Brownsea and a bridge that keeps knackering itself.
Poole has a massive harbour, Brownsea Island with its red squirrels and the spot where the Scouts started. It's also got the Twin Sails Bridge, which keeps breaking down and shutting. The flood defence works have made a mess of the waterfront and might block the view.
It gets 1,754 hours of sunshine and every bathing water came out Excellent, so the harbour's fine. It's the land that's the problem. The driving's dreadful, with more serious crashes than most, and the banks have announced 6 branch closures. Bournemouth came out crapper, which Poole will never stop mentioning. The squirrels have it easy.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Poole's 89 for serious road collisions means it's crapper than 89% of towns.
- Serious road collisions89/1003.9 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour73/10019.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Broadband72/10012.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 11.0% across the Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole council area
- Deliberate fires59/1006.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Rain45/100125 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Air pollution40/1008.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson39/1006.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Fly-tipping37/1008.8 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Sewage spills27/10080.9 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Food hygiene0/1000.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 739 food businesses with a rating
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Bournemouth | 62 |
| 2 | Poole | 49 |
| 3 | Bridport | 49 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.4 | Weymouth | 37 |
| 5 | Dorchester | 33 |
| 6 | Christchurch | 22 |
| 7 | West Moors | 20 |
| 8 | Sherborne | 19 |
| 9 | Wimborne Minster | 19 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Poole by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 58.5 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 23% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 11 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 76% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 8 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
- 10 of 10 bathing waters here or within 2 km rated Excellent in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 44 pubs, 74 hairdressers, 24 charity shops, 7 bookmakers, 12 vape shops, 9 banks, 4 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 2.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 111) Better: 33% lower than the typical town's 4.0%
- 6 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 4.3 per 100,000 people, 26% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 25 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 1.8 per 10,000 people, 13% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 14 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Better: 1.0 per 10,000 people, 43% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 19.8% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 28% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,754 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 14% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole council
- £2,436 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £44 more than the English average
- 1% of Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Better: 94% lower than England's 16%
- 20 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Poole against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.