Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Oldham
Oldham
94/100Crap Score
61st crappest of 984 towns, and 11th in Greater Manchester. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Oldham? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Leaving's the best bit of Oldham.
Spun more cotton than anywhere on earth once. Now the best thing in town is the tram to Manchester.
Owdham was the cotton-spinning capital of the world. Now the mills are flats or empty, and the best thing about the town centre is the tram out of it. Boundary Park is the coldest ground in football, and up on that hill the wind goes straight through you.
It chucks it down on 171 days a year and the sun shows its face for 1,288 hours. There are ten times as many bin fires as in the typical town. The hygiene inspectors hand out 0 to 2 four times as often as in the typical town, and one in seven takeaways gets one. Rochdale think it's a dump. Rochdale would.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Oldham's 99 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Food hygiene99/1009.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 681 food businesses with a rating
- Rain93/100171 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires92/10024.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution91/10013.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.6 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Fly-tipping86/10022.9 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Oldham council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson73/1008.8 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Serious road collisions71/1003.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour61/10016.9 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Sewage spills40/100176 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Broadband2/1001.5% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 2.8% across the Oldham council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 7 | Kearsley | 96 |
| 8 | Walkden | 95 |
| 9 | Bolton | 94 |
| 10 | Rochdale | 94 |
| 11 | Oldham | 94 |
| 12 | Little Hulton | 93 |
| 13 | Audenshaw | 93 |
| 14 | Horwich | 93 |
| 15 | Swinton | 93 |
Oldham by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 102 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Worse: 34% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 36 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 3.3 per 10,000 people, 3x the typical town's 1.1
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2018
What's left on the high street
- 41 pubs, 76 hairdressers, 14 charity shops, 9 bookmakers, 11 vape shops, 10 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 14.5% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (20 of 138) Worse: 3.6x the typical town's 4.0%
- 1 bank branch closure announced since 2022 Better: 0.9 per 100,000 people, 74% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 8 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Worse: 0.7 per 10,000 people, 56% lower than the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open; 5 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.3 per 10,000 people, 57% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 5 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.36am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 20.7% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 34% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,288 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 16% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Oldham council
Have a crap-off
Oldham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.