Crap Towns / Lancashire / Nelson

Welcome to

Nelson

Nelson. Lots of parking. Nothing to park for.
Twinned with a car park with a town attached

98/100Crap Score

25th crappest of 984 towns, and 10th in Lancashire. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

See the race

The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

Got something to say about Nelson? Write in.

Nelson. It's a car park now.

Nelson's big regeneration plan is car parks. It's already got the empty shops.

Nelson was a cotton town so radical they called it Little Moscow. Now the regeneration plan seems to be knocking down old buildings and putting up car parks. There's not much to do in the centre, the shops are empty, and you can always find a space.

It rains on 168 days a year and the sun manages 1,266 hours, which is grim even by Pendle's standards. Anti-social behaviour runs at 2.3 times the typical town's rate, food businesses are three and a half times as likely to be rated 0 to 2 on hygiene, and the back alleys get used as a tip. There are 4 pubs and one public toilet for the whole town.

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Nelson's 97 for fly-tipping means it's crapper than 97% of towns.

  • Fly-tipping97/10051.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Pendle council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
  • Anti-social behaviour96/10032.4 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Food hygiene95/1008.7% rated 0 to 2, of the 206 food businesses with a rating
  • Rain91/100168 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
  • Deliberate fires74/10010.5 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
  • Serious road collisions73/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
  • Sewage spills66/100521 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
  • Criminal damage and arson62/1008.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
  • Air pollution50/1008.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
  • Broadband11/1001.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.7% across the Pendle council area
Your patch: LancashireTowns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
PosTownNationalScore
6Lancaster14th99
7Accrington15th99
8Burnley17th98
9Preston23rd98
10Nelson25th98
11Rawtenstall28th97
12Brierfield31st97
13Morecambe34th97
14Haslingden37th96

Nelson by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

Pendle council

Have a crap-off

Nelson against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

NelsonCrap Score 98
v
BrierfieldCrap Score 97

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.