Crap Towns / Lancashire / Lancaster
Lancaster
99/100Crap Score
14th crappest of 984 towns, and 6th in Lancashire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Lancaster. Round and round you go.
Castle, university, and a one-way system that takes you round the whole town to get anywhere.
Lancaster has a castle, a university and a one-way system that sends you round the entire centre to reach the next street. Parking costs a fortune and there's rain on 160 days a year.
The students bring the bikes and somebody else takes them. Bike theft runs at four times the typical town's rate, and burglary at more than twice. Anti-social behaviour is 2.4 times the typical town's, the local yobs set a fire three times as often, and people get killed or badly hurt on the roads at nearly twice. Locals call Morecambe a dump. Have a look round first.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Lancaster's 97 for anti-social behaviour means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Anti-social behaviour97/10034.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions92/1004.3 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires87/10018.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping87/10023.5 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Lancaster council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Criminal damage and arson85/10010.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Rain84/100160 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband75/10013.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 10.9% across the Lancaster council area
- Food hygiene72/1003.6% rated 0 to 2, of the 330 food businesses with a rating
- Sewage spills59/100392 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution23/1006.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.4 of fine particles, 2024 average
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | Blackburn | 100 |
| 3 | Colne | 99 |
| 4 | Bacup | 99 |
| 5 | Darwen | 99 |
| 6 | Lancaster | 99 |
| 7 | Accrington | 99 |
| 8 | Burnley | 98 |
| 9 | Preston | 98 |
| 10 | Nelson | 98 |
Lancaster by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 88.7 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 16% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 12 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 2.3 per 10,000 people, 2.1x the typical town's 1.1
- 4 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2023
What's left on the high street
- 39 pubs, 52 hairdressers, 13 charity shops, 5 bookmakers, 7 vape shops, 11 banks, 2 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 11.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (6 of 51) Worse: 3x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 3.8 per 100,000 people, 12% higher than the typical town's 3.4
- 12 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.3 per 10,000 people, 44% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 4 public swimming pools open Better: 0.8 per 10,000 people, 14% higher than the typical English town's 0.7
- 5 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- All night buses on a Wednesday Better: The typical town's last bus goes at 12.14am
- 0.2% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 60% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 39% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,455 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 5% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Lancaster council
Have a crap-off
Lancaster against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.