Pick up your crisps.

Needham Market is a pretty little Suffolk town with timber-framed houses up the High Street and a lake for walks and picnics. On a warm day the lake's rammed, and when everyone goes home they leave their crap behind. That's the big moan. Crime's low and nobody fly-tips. It's just people too lazy to find a bin.

In the plague they chained the town off from the outside world. These days the bus timetable does that: the last one goes at 6.22pm, and on a Sunday there isn't one. The High Street's got more than four times the typical town's charity shops for its size and no public pool, so the lake's all you've got.

The editor, who took his crisp packet home