Crap Towns / Suffolk / Newmarket
Newmarket
9/100Crap Score
895th crappest of 984 towns, and 5th in Suffolk. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Newmarket? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Newmarket. Horses first.
The racehorses get their own crossings. Everyone else waits.
Newmarket is the home of horse racing, and the horses are in charge. They get their own walkways and their own crossings, and you stand there while a two-year-old worth more than your street ambles past. The racehorses live better than most of the people, and they eat better too, because the kitchens here aren't up to the stables.
Per head the town's got more than four and a half times the typical town's bookies, which figures. The banks went the other way: 5 branch closures announced since 2022, nearly eight times the typical town's rate. Plenty of places to lose your money, nowhere left to put it. The last bus goes at 7.43pm and there's nothing at all on a Sunday, so if the horse doesn't come in you're walking.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Newmarket's 93 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Food hygiene93/1008.4% rated 0 to 2, of the 143 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband70/1008.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.4% across the West Suffolk council area
- Criminal damage and arson49/1007.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions43/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Air pollution40/1006.1 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain14/100115 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Deliberate fires8/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour7/1005.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping0/1001.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, West Suffolk council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Lowestoft | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | Sudbury | 30 |
| 3 | Ipswich | 15 |
| 4 | Haverhill | 11 |
| 5 | Newmarket | 9 |
| 6 | Stowmarket | 7 |
| 7 | Felixstowe | 6 |
| 8 | Woodbridge | 4 |
| 9 | Bury St Edmunds | 3 |
| 10 | Kesgrave | 0 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Newmarket by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 75.1 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 76.2
- 20 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 10.6 per 10,000 people, 3.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 12 pubs, 21 hairdressers, 9 charity shops, 6 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 5 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 15.8% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 19) Worse: 4x the typical town's 4.0%
- 5 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 26.5 per 100,000 people, 7.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 3 public toilets on the map (October 2026) About the same: 1.6 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.6
- 3 public swimming pools open Better: 1.6 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical English town's 0.7
- 1 place on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 7.43pm last bus out on a Wednesday, and none on a Sunday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.6% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 20% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 9.3% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 40% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,588 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
West Suffolk council
- £2,351 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £41 less than the English average
- 22% of Suffolk County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 38% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Newmarket against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.