Crap Towns / Suffolk / Haverhill
Haverhill
11/100Crap Score
Known as Haverhell. Also Have-a-hole.
872nd crappest of 984 towns, and 4th in Suffolk. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Haverhill? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Welcome to the giant bog roll
The railway shut years ago. The welcome sculpture looks like a giant bog roll.
Haverhill lost its railway, so getting to Cambridge is a slog on the bus, and they've been campaigning to get the trains back for about as long as anyone can remember. The sculpture at the way in looks like a giant bog roll. Locals call it Haverhole.
The High Street has 3 Greggs and 1 charity shop, so nobody's buying second-hand but everyone's had a sausage roll. Where it goes wrong is the kitchens. Of the 18 takeaways with a rating, 3 score 0 to 2, more than four times the typical town's share. It's actually fairly well behaved, but nobody's going to tell them that.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Haverhill's 93 for food hygiene means it's crapper than 93% of towns.
- Food hygiene93/1008.3% rated 0 to 2, of the 120 food businesses with a rating
- Broadband64/1006.7% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 17.4% across the West Suffolk council area
- Criminal damage and arson56/1007.5 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Air pollution41/1006.2 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.1 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Sewage spills31/10096.3 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Serious road collisions27/1001.8 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Rain12/100114 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Anti-social behaviour11/1005.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires7/1002.2 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Fly-tipping0/1001.6 incidents per 1,000 people a year, West Suffolk council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Lowestoft | 40 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.2 | Sudbury | 30 |
| 3 | Ipswich | 15 |
| 4 | Haverhill | 11 |
| 5 | Newmarket | 9 |
| 6 | Stowmarket | 7 |
| 7 | Felixstowe | 6 |
| 8 | Woodbridge | 4 |
| 9 | Bury St Edmunds | 3 |
| 10 | Kesgrave | 0 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Haverhill by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 68.4 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 10% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 16 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 6.0 per 10,000 people, 1.8x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2017
What's left on the high street
- 10 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 1 charity shop, 2 bookmakers, 2 vape shops, 3 banks, 3 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 16.7% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (3 of 18) Worse: 4.2x the typical town's 4.0%
- 2 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 7.5 per 100,000 people, 2.2x the typical town's 3.4
- 10 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 3.7 per 10,000 people, 2.3x the typical town's 1.6
- 2 public swimming pools open About the same: 0.7 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 1.07am last bus out on a Wednesday Better: Later than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 4.5% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 71% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,603 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) About the same: About the same as the typical town's 1,532
West Suffolk council
- £2,351 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £41 less than the English average
- 22% of Suffolk County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 38% higher than England's 16%
- None ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Haverhill against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.