Crap Towns / Greater Manchester / Milnrow
Milnrow
87/100Crap Score
Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 87. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Milnrow's keeping an eye on Yorkshire.
The Moonrakers sit by the M62 waiting for Yorkshire to invade. The lorries already have.
Milnrow is a mill village stuck to the side of the M62, and the locals reckon they're Greater Manchester's guard post against Yorkshire. Shame nobody's guarding against the motorway. Every time it shuts, the wagons come straight through the middle. The drivers, to be fair, mostly manage not to crash.
There's no public park and not one play space, so nearly eight in ten people live more than 400 metres from anywhere to play. You get rain on 175 days a year and the sun puts in 1,290 hours. A bin gets set alight seven times as often as in the typical town.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Milnrow's 96 for rain means it's crapper than 96% of towns.
- Rain96/100175 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Sewage spills89/1001,447 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Fly-tipping88/10023.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Rochdale council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Deliberate fires87/10018.8 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Food hygiene77/1006.5% rated 0 to 2, of the 46 food businesses with a rating
- Air pollution75/10011.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.0 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Criminal damage and arson71/1008.7 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Anti-social behaviour60/10016.7 per 1,000 people a year, July 2023 to June 2026
- Broadband55/1009.3% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 8.0% across the Rochdale council area
- Serious road collisions11/1001.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 19 | Denton | 89 |
| 20 | Stalybridge | 89 |
| 21 | Mossley | 89 |
| 22 | Leigh | 88 |
| – | Milnrow | 87 |
| 23 | Uppermill | 87 |
| 24 | Royton | 86 |
| 25 | Ince-in-Makerfield | 86 |
| 26 | Bury | 85 |
Milnrow by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 102 crimes per 1,000 people a year (July 2023 to June 2026) Worse: 34% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 7 reports of fly-tipping on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 7.6 per 10,000 people, 6.9x the typical town's 1.1
- 3 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2020
What's left on the high street
- 7 pubs, 3 hairdressers, 1 bookmaker on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 9.1% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 11) Worse: 2.3x the typical town's 4.0%
- None public swimming pools open Worse: Against the typical English town's 0.7 per 10,000 people
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 10.46pm last bus out on a Wednesday Worse: Earlier than the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.7% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 40% higher than the typical town's 0.5%
- 78.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space, and OS maps no public park here Worse: 5x the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,290 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 16% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Rochdale council
Have a crap-off
Milnrow against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.