Crap Towns / North Yorkshire / Middlesbrough
Middlesbrough
96/100Crap Score
40th crappest of 984 towns, and the crappest in North Yorkshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Get a parmo. Then leave.
Proud steel town, cracking parmo, and a town centre the big shops have walked out of.
Boro gave the world the parmo, breaded chicken under a lake of cheese sauce, and the Smoggies will fight you over it. The big shops have pissed off to Teesside Park, the streets are filthy and the shutters stay down. Even the Transporter Bridge is broken.
It's the crappest town in North Yorkshire. Harrogate's in the same county. Think about that. Stuff gets torched at nearly thirteen times the typical town's rate, the bins at about twenty-seven times. Vandalism's over three times the typical town's, and the council recycles 21.5% of the rubbish. The parmo's still cracking.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Middlesbrough's 99 for criminal damage and arson means it's crapper than 99% of towns.
- Criminal damage and arson99/10021.9 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires99/10072.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Anti-social behaviour97/10035.7 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene81/1004.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 911 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping78/10018.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Middlesbrough council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions72/1003.1 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills58/100382 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
- Air pollution51/10010.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 5.9 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain32/100121 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Broadband27/1005.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 5.4% across the Middlesbrough council area
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Middlesbrough | 96 |
| 2 | Eston | 86 |
| 3 | York | 85 |
| 4 | Scarborough | 78 |
| 5 | Guisborough | 78 |
| 6 | Skipton | 74 |
| 7 | Redcar | 71 |
| 8 | Thornaby-on-Tees | 71 |
| 9 | Whitby | 64 |
Middlesbrough by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 169 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 2.2x the typical town's 76.2
- 14 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Better: 0.9 per 10,000 people, 74% lower than the typical town's 3.4
- 9 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2026
What's left on the high street
- 53 pubs, 35 hairdressers, 15 charity shops, 12 bookmakers, 8 vape shops, 12 banks, 8 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 6.0% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (9 of 150) Worse: 1.5x the typical town's 4.0%
- 23 public toilets on the map (October 2026) About the same: 1.6 per 10,000 people, about the same as the typical town's 1.6
- 6 public swimming pools open; 2 closed for good since 2010 Worse: 0.4 per 10,000 people, 43% lower than the typical English town's 0.7
- 2 places on England's Heritage at Risk register
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.07am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.5% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3x the typical town's 0.5%
- 20.0% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 29% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,416 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Worse: 8% lower than the typical town's 1,532
Middlesbrough council
Have a crap-off
Middlesbrough against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.