Meltham

No station. Fewer green fields every year.

Twinned with a tractor from the old works

37/100Crap Score

Too small for the table, which starts at 10,000 people, but it still scores 37. Higher scores are crapper.

How the score works

Have your say

Crap Town of the Year 2026/27

See the race

The public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.

Letters from the locals

Got something to say about Meltham? Write in.

Meltham. Last of the green fields.

They made tractors here and filmed Last of the Summer Wine. Now they're building on the fields.

Meltham used to build tractors and got on the telly in Last of the Summer Wine. Now it's a village under the moor where the green bits are being built on, there's no station for the Manchester commute and the high street has more vape shops than it needs.

There's rain on 170 days a year. They filmed a comedy here once. Must have been in the dry bit. Sewage goes in the water nearby for over six times the typical town's hours, and the fly-tippers love the moor roads. There's no swimming pool, but you'll be wet anyway.

The editor, who walked up West Nab to get away

What the score is made of

Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.

Meltham's 92 for sewage spills means it's crapper than 92% of towns.

Sewage spills92/1001,759 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
Rain91/100170 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
Fly-tipping82/10019.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Kirklees council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
Deliberate fires42/1005.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
Food hygiene27/1000.0% rated 0 to 2, of the 36 food businesses with a rating
Criminal damage and arson26/1005.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
Air pollution24/1005.9 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.2 of fine particles, 2024 average
Anti-social behaviour24/1007.2 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
Broadband19/1003.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 4.8% across the Kirklees council area
Serious road collisions9/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025

**Your patch: West Yorkshire**Towns in the same county. Top of the table is crappest.
Pos	Town	National	Score
30	Honley	433rd	56
31	Otley	448th	55
32	Ilkley	514th	48
33	Guiseley	516th	48
34	Kippax	555th	44
35	Yeadon	563rd	43
36	Garforth	571st	42
In danger of becoming nice from here down.–	Meltham	–	37
37	Wetherby	822nd	16

Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.

Meltham by numbers

Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.

Crime, muck and dodgy water

What's left on the high street

Getting about, getting online, getting rained on

Kirklees council

Have a crap-off

Meltham against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.

Against

MelthamCrap Score 37

Linthwaite and SlaithwaiteCrap Score 71

Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.