Crap Towns / East Sussex / Lewes
Lewes
70/100Crap Score
295th crappest of 984 towns, and 3rd in East Sussex. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
Got something to say about Lewes? Write in.
agree it's crap have defended it
Antiques, yes. Pants, no.
Lewes has the most famous Bonfire Night in the country. It asks you not to come.
Lewes is a steep, pretty county town where you can buy an antique sideboard but not a pair of socks. It's got 19 pubs and not much else after dark, and the house prices are daft. Somebody's always smashing something up. Then it sets the whole town on fire every November and asks visitors to stay away.
The Ouse gets it worst. The overflows round the town dumped sewage for nearly nine times the typical town's hours. Halifax, HSBC, Lloyds and NatWest have all shut a branch, and the council tax is £2,756 for a Band D, well over England's average. Top whack for shit in the river and nowhere to get your cash out.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Lewes's 97 for broadband means it's crapper than 97% of towns.
- Broadband97/10028.8% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 25.6% across the Lewes council area
- Sewage spills96/1002,394 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2024 to 2025
- Anti-social behaviour85/10023.6 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Criminal damage and arson81/10010.0 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Serious road collisions74/1003.2 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Deliberate fires65/1008.1 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Air pollution41/1007.5 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 6.5 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Rain39/100123 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Food hygiene13/1000.8% rated 0 to 2, of the 129 food businesses with a rating
- Fly-tipping7/1004.2 incidents per 1,000 people a year, Lewes council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Hastings | 87 |
| 2 | Newhaven | 75 |
| 3 | Lewes | 70 |
| 4 | Eastbourne | 66 |
| 5 | Bexhill-on-Sea | 54 |
| 6 | Brighton and Hove | 51 |
| In danger of becoming nice from here down.7 | Hailsham | 35 |
| 8 | Peacehaven | 30 |
| 9 | Polegate | 23 |
Below the dashed line: in danger of becoming nice.
Lewes by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 88.3 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Worse: 16% higher than the typical town's 76.2
- 86 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 53.5 per 10,000 people, 15.7x the typical town's 3.4
- 2 serious pollution incidents within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2021
What's left on the high street
- 19 pubs, 13 hairdressers, 6 charity shops, 1 vape shop, 2 banks on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 8.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 12) Worse: 2.1x the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 24.9 per 100,000 people, 7.3x the typical town's 3.4
- 14 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 8.7 per 10,000 people, 5.4x the typical town's 1.6
- 5 public swimming pools open; 1 closed for good since 2010 Better: 3.1 per 10,000 people, 4.4x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.21am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 0.1% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Better: 80% lower than the typical town's 0.5%
- 10.2% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Better: 34% lower than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,709 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 12% higher than the typical town's 1,532
Lewes council
- £2,756 Band D council tax (2026-27) Worse: £364 more than the English average
- 18% of East Sussex County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 13% higher than England's 16%
- 3 ombudsman complaints upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Lewes against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.