Crap Towns / Hertfordshire / Hertford
Hertford
7/100Crap Score
918th crappest of 984 towns, and 22nd in Hertfordshire. Higher scores are crapper.
Have your say
Crap Town of the Year 2026/27
See the raceThe public vote. It's separate from the Crap Score, and it closes on 31 December 2027.
Letters from the locals
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agree it's crap have defended it
Better than Ware.
Nice castle, nice rivers, lots of pubs. And a station for every direction except yours.
Hertford is the county town, which it'll mention, especially to Ware. The two of them go back to smashing up each other's bridges over who got the passing trade. There's a castle gatehouse, rivers, 23 pubs and not much going wrong, which is annoying.
The banks have had enough of it, mind. HSBC, Lloyds, NatWest and Santander have all shut a branch here, more than four times the typical town's rate. So now you pay London prices for a coffee and queue at the cash machine to do it. There's a North station and an East station. Everyone picks the wrong one.
What the score is made of
Ten ingredients, each marked out of 100. Higher is crapper.
Hertford's 74 for air pollution means it's crapper than 74% of towns.
- Air pollution74/1009.3 µg/m³ of nitrogen dioxide and 7.3 of fine particles, 2024 average
- Broadband69/1009.1% of premises can't get gigabit, January 2026, and 16.0% across the East Hertfordshire council area
- Anti-social behaviour68/10017.8 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Deliberate fires30/1004.4 per 10,000 people a year, April 2023 to March 2026
- Criminal damage and arson26/1005.3 per 1,000 people a year, September 2023 to August 2026
- Food hygiene16/1001.1% rated 0 to 2, of the 184 food businesses with a rating
- Rain12/100114 days of rain a year, at least 1 mm, 1991 to 2020 average
- Fly-tipping10/1004.7 incidents per 1,000 people a year, East Hertfordshire council area, 2022-23 to 2024-25
- Serious road collisions6/1001.0 per 10,000 people a year, fatal and serious, 2021 to 2025
- Sewage spills2/1000.0 spill hours per 10,000 people a year, storm overflows within 1 km, 2023 to 2025
| Pos | Town | Score |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | Royston | 18 |
| 19 | St Albans | 18 |
| 20 | Ware | 8 |
| 21 | Sawbridgeworth | 7 |
| 22 | Hertford | 7 |
| 23 | Abbots Langley and Kings Langley | 7 |
| 24 | Rickmansworth | 4 |
| 25 | Harpenden | 3 |
| 26 | Chorleywood | 0 |
Hertford by numbers
Thinking of moving here? Don't say we didn't warn you.
Crime, muck and dodgy water
- 66.8 crimes per 1,000 people a year (September 2023 to August 2026) Better: 12% lower than the typical town's 76.2
- 33 reports of potholes and bad road surfaces on FixMyStreet, the most reported problem in the year to October 2026 Worse: 11.5 per 10,000 people, 3.4x the typical town's 3.4
- 1 serious pollution incident within 1 km since 2016, the latest in 2025
What's left on the high street
- 23 pubs, 26 hairdressers, 8 charity shops, 1 bookmaker, 1 vape shop, 2 banks, 1 Greggs on the map here as of 1 October 2026
- 5.3% of takeaways rated 0 to 2 for hygiene (1 of 19) Worse: 33% higher than the typical town's 4.0%
- 4 bank branch closures announced since 2022 Worse: 13.9 per 100,000 people, 4.1x the typical town's 3.4
- 6 public toilets on the map (October 2026) Better: 2.1 per 10,000 people, 31% higher than the typical town's 1.6
- 5 public swimming pools open Better: 1.7 per 10,000 people, 2.4x the typical English town's 0.7
Getting about, getting online, getting rained on
- 12.19am last bus out on a Wednesday About the same: About the same as the typical town's 12.14am
- 1.8% of premises can't get superfast broadband (January 2026) Worse: 3.6x the typical town's 0.5%
- 22.9% live more than 400 metres from a park or play space Worse: 48% higher than the typical town's 15.5%
- 1,613 hours of sunshine a year (1991 to 2020 average) Better: 5% higher than the typical town's 1,532
East Hertfordshire council
- £2,455 Band D council tax (2026-27) About the same: £63 more than the English average
- 18% of Hertfordshire County Council's unclassified roads should have been considered for maintenance (2025-26) Worse: 13% higher than England's 16%
- 1 ombudsman complaint upheld against the council in 2025-26
- More on the council
Have a crap-off
Hertford against your mate's town, and a match ticket to rub it in.
- ?Fly-tippingper 1,000, council area?
- ?Anti-social behaviourper 1,000 people?
- ?Serious road crashesper 10,000 people?
- ?Sewage spillshours per 10,000 people?
- ?Food hygienerated poor?
- ?Criminal damageper 1,000 people?
- ?Dirty airµg/m³?
- ?No gigabitof premises can't get it?
- ?Deliberate firesper 10,000 people?
- ?Raindays a year?
Ten ingredients. One verdict. Who's crapper? The higher Crap Score takes it.